But It Really Isn't Fair...

Seriously, what the FUCK.

I logged on with more comprehensive thoughts in my mind...but as I sit here in tears and rage that is the only thing that now comes to my mind. What. The. Fuck.

Are allergies SO common these days that when you bring your poor fatigued one month old to the doctor, lying on the table with eyes so swollen one barely opens, eczema so awful it bleeds and her tiny organic cotton onesie so stained with puss from her skin that it's yellow around all of it's edges he says-- "She looks much better, I'll see her again in ten days." THIS is better?! Okay, I get it, I'm Mom and he's Doc; my role is to go into full panic mode while his is to stay calm and in control. But to just pass it off-- here's some cream, take this drug, looking good. It's all too repetitive of what we went through with our now three-year-old and I tell you I'll be damned if I'm going down that road again!!!!

And as is human nature in all my fury I have been desperately attempting to blame something or someone, but I see now it doesn't work like that. When we experienced this before, I was convinced it was the vaccinations. I was 100% certain this child (vax-free) would not have the same problems that our first had. But (even though I still think the vaccination program is a scam) we were caught off guard and thrown for a loop as life has a way of doing to you, and I again found myself asking WHY? I thought, I bet this was not a problem in earlier ages...I'm sure the hunter-gatherer moms were not like, 'oh my god...my baby has hives, what did I eat?!'. Which made me realize, that not just food, but a LOT of things have changed since then. Straying from that primitive diet, infiltrating our food supply with GMOs, chemicals, vaccines full of toxins and food proteins, toxic lifestyles, and so on. I realize now that I can continue wasting my time trying to pass blame or I can spend that time (so little of it I have now, ha!) doing what I've become so good at-- educating myself on the things that affect my family and finding ways to navigate through all the shit and keep them healthy to the best of my ability.

I suppose I'll keep doing the latter, and while I'm at it I'll also try to keep from yelling "It's not FAIR!" every time I think about it. My three year old now has a new favorite expression and it's driving me insane.